New Days, New Beginnings

 

    

    One of my favorite things about Easter is the opportunity that I have to look at life again from a new perspective.  This past year certainly has been a unique one, bringing with it unexpected trials and blessings.  Over this time, like so many others, I have seen people I care for and respect either pass away or be afflicted or affected by Covid-19.  I have had some dreams realized, while still waiting for others to be fulfilled.  I think that is one reason why this Easter season seems to be more poignant this year.  

The Words I Cannot Sing

    A song that has always stuck with me is Anthem to My King by Octapella.  Two of my favorite lines from the song are, "may the heavens find a way to hear those words I cannot sing" and "may the heavens write on every heart the words we cannot sing."  I love the parallel between those two lines and the important message that they teach.  

    I think all of us have had times where either due to extreme joy or sorrow, there just is no way to describe what we are feeling. But whatever we are going through at that moment, we can rest assured that the heavens are listening and that they do hear those unspoken words.  Likewise, there will be many words or messages written on our own hearts if we are open and willing.  Christ not only knows exactly what we are going through at this moment, but He also knows what lies in store for us. As we let Him write upon our hearts, we can be changed and uplifted, strengthened and fortified, and ready to face whateve the day may bring. 

When No One Understands    

    All of us will face challenges and trials during this life.  Sometimes we feel that we are alone even when we may be surrounded by people and Covid-19 has heightened these feelings of isolation and loneliness for many of us.  However, especially around this time of year, I am reminded that we are never truly alone.  Elder Bednar once said,

"There is no physical pain, no anguish of soul, no suffering of spirit, no infirmity or weakness that you or I ever experience during our mortal journey that the Savior did not experience first. You and I in a moment of weakness may cry out, "No one understands. No one knows." No human being, perhaps, knows. But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He felt and bore our burdens before we ever did. And because He paid the ultimate price and bore that burden, He has perfect empathy and can extend to us His arm of mercy in so many phases of our life. He can reach out, touch, and succor--literally run to us--and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do through relying only upon our own power." 

    The hope of Easter is that no ending is ever final nor story ever finished.  While things may seem bleak or hard now, we can have the reassurance that things will improve.  Things may not happen when or how we'd like them to, but as we place our trust in Christ, we can be assured that all things will work to our good and that He will be with us every step of the way.

    

    I don't know what the future may bring, but I do know that there is every reason to be optimistic and hopeful.  Through Christ we can find joy, hope, and healing.  The possibilities are endless because of Him.

Goodbyes

 

How do we say goodbye

How do we let go, move on

When every fiber of your being

Tells you to hold on

How do we say goodbye

To someone so dear

Someone who held us close

And wiped away the tears

How do we say goodbye 

And keep them in our hearts

Knowing that until our journey ends

We must remain apart

How do we say goodbye

The answer I do not know

But in my heart you'll remain

Wherever I may go

- Johana Linford

Starlight and Storms

 

Her eyes were full of starlight

Full of light and warmth and hope

Nothing was impossible

And dreams were always close

Yet she had a secret

 That she always sought to hide

For though her eyes shone with starlight

She was battling darkness inside

Storms raged and waves crashed

Trying to swallow her whole

But she kept on wishing

Holding to that hope

For even on the darkest night

Or in the stormiest sea

It cannot stop the light from shining

And reaching those who seek.

So she kept on going

Knowing that one day

Her light may illuminate the path

For others who pass that way.

- Johana Linford

The Wounds We Cannot Heal

I think, so far, 2020 has turned out very different than any of us could have imagined!  So many have been hurt and affected in one way or another.  My heart goes out to those who suffer from any type of prejudice, discrimination, and hate.  Although we have come a long way as a society, it is clear that we still have a long way to go.  This past April Elder Jeffrey R. Holland stated, 

"When we have conquered [COVID-19]—and we will—may we be equally committed to freeing the world from the virus of hunger, freeing neighborhoods and nations from the virus of poverty. May we hope for schools where students are taught—not terrified they will be shot—and for the gift of personal dignity for every child of God, unmarred by any form of racial, ethnic, or religious prejudice. Undergirding all of this is our relentless hope for greater devotion to the two greatest of all commandments: to love God by keeping His counsel and to love our neighbors by showing kindness and compassion, patience and forgiveness. These two divine directives are still—and forever will be—the only real hope we have for giving our children a better world than the one they now know."

We hope for a better world, but all too often we question:  what can I do?  What difference can I make?  Where do I even start?  Along with these questions, we can also be accompanied by the fear of speaking out, of losing friends, of receiving hateful remarks and comments, etc.  However, "Somebody has to stand when other people are sitting.  Somebody has to speak when other people are quiet." (Bryan Stevenson)  Although standing for what is right is never easy, it is always worth it.  It may feel like we are standing alone, but we never know how our actions will affect others and even give them the courage to rise and stand with us.  

There are so many good resources out there that can help us know how we can recognize signs of discrimination or prejudice in ourselves and how we can support others and start making a change in our own homes and communities.  Learning the histories, stories, and backgrounds of different cultures, races, ethnicities, etc. are so enlightening and humbling.  There is so much to learn and so many beautiful elements to admire. It can also help us to wake up and realize that the world isn't always the rosy picture we make it out to be, and it can help us to understand the struggles that others have (and still are) going through.  

A beginning step I think that is vital in this process is to learn how to look for the common ground.  Although some people may initially appear to be very different from us, the more we get to know them, the more we will realize that there is more that unites us than divides us.  An op-ed piece between the NAACP and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints states:

"Unitedly we declare that the answers to racism, prejudice, discrimination and hate will not come from government or law enforcement alone. Solutions will come as we open our hearts to those whose lives are different than our own, as we work to build bonds of genuine friendship, and as we see each other as the brothers and sisters we are — for we are all children of a loving God."

 I know that throughout this time there are many who are hurting and are deeply wounded.  While I may not fully know or understand what it is that you are going through, I know that there is somebody who does.  I know that the Savior knows you personally and knows exactly what you feel.  He offers healing, peace, and the ability to offer forgiveness and love to those who have wronged us.  We can remember that "the Savior loves to restore what you cannot restore; He loves to heal wounds you cannot heal; He loves to fix what has been irreparably broken; He compensates for any unfairness inflicted on you; and He loves to permanently mend even shattered hearts." (Elder Dale G. Renlund)  Christ truly is the light and hope that we can cling to as we work towards a better world.  

The Beauty of Being Still

Hi everyone!  I know that life has been turned upside down and has been crazy for everyone since the outbreak of COVID-19.  My heart goes out to those who have lost loved ones and those who are going through unexpected trials at this time. With our present in turmoil and our future uncertain, it can be easy to get overwhelmed by feelings of fear, despair, or hopelessness.  One thing that has helped me during this time - and throughout other hard times in my life - has been the idea of looking for "compensatory blessings."  By doing so, I am able to shift my focus from a more negative outlook (by focusing on what is going wrong in my life) to a more positive one where I am able to see unexpected blessings or opportunities, as well as everything I have in my life that I can be grateful for.  By looking for compensatory blessings, I am also able to realize those things which I have taken for granted, and really appreciate the simple but beautiful things in life.

One unexpected blessing during this time is the enhanced opportunity to be still.  I often feel that life can be so overwhelming and so busy that we often forget to take time to slow down.  With our never-ending checklists and our myriad of commitments, there is often the pressure to just keep going.  I know I've even felt guilty for taking time to be still because of the notion that if we're not doing something, then we're being unproductive and we are wasting time.   However, sometimes all we need is just an opportunity to unwind, unplug and slow down - which actually is better for us in the long run anyway.  One Harvard Health article found that being still (or practicing mindfulness) "has been found to be a key element in stress reduction and overall happiness" and improves well-being, as well as mental and physical health.  While there are a plethora of ways to practice mindfulness - and so many benefits that come from doing so - one of the things that have blessed me the most is an increased connection with heaven.

In times like these, it's so helpful for me to take time to "be still and know that [He is] God." (Psalms 46:10) To remember that He is in charge and that even in the midst of turbulent times, He can offer us peace, comfort, and direction.  With Easter Sunday fast approaching, it is a time to celebrate the ultimate victory and to remember that with His grace, we can achieve victory in our own battles.   Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin put it beautifully when he said:

"Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays.
But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come.
No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come."

As that Sunday comes we can find the hope and healing that we so desperately crave, and we can rest assured that we are never forgotten or abandoned.  We can know that "[Christ's] Atonement makes available all of the power, peace, light, and strength that we need to deal with life's challenges" (Sheri Dew) While things may still seem crazy in our world today, there is still so much to look forward too, and so much good to find.  There is happiness and hope ahead, as well as a myriad of blessings to be found - if we only look for it.

The Courage To Be You

So tell me if this sounds familiar to anyone else:  January is over and the majority (if not all) of your New Years Resolutions are broken or abandoned.  Why is that?  Is it because these resolutions have come to be seen as a joke or just a ritual to do at the New Year, but have little meaning or effect afterwards? Is it because we're well-meaning and we're feeling ambitious and so we set goals that are unrealistic and non-sustainable?  While I think it could be any of those things, I also wonder if there's a deeper reason why our heart just isn't in it.  Could it be that while many of our goals are good or even noteworthy, we're not doing it for us? Rather we're doing it because of someone else?  

Now don't get me wrong, I am all for learning from others and being inspired by their strengths and talents. I admire those who want to improve themselves so that they can have better relationships with others and be better equipped to make a difference in the world around them.  What  I am referring to ties back to my very first article - and that is comparison.  

In today's world, it is so easy for us to compare.  We are bombarded by so many pictures and posts from social media, entertainment, etc. that it can often be a bit discouraging as we realize that we might not measure up to the images and messages that we are exposed to.  It can be so easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others - and as is often the case, we compare what we perceive are the worst things about us, with the best things of others.  The more we do this, the easier it is to become more and more dissatisfied with ourselves.  We hone in on all of our problems and shortcomings, and eventually, we begin to feel inadequate and that who we are isn't enough.  While I think it is great when we can self-reflect and honestly evaluate ourselves - our weaknesses and our strengths - the problem comes when we no longer feel that we can be ourselves. When we feel that we need to transform into an entirely new person, and we need to act or look just like someone else.  

I first became more conscious of this problem when I was in a fitness class.  At the beginning of the semester, the instructor had us write down our goals for the semester and what we wanted to get out of the class.  However, she cautioned for us not to put down that we wanted to look just like a certain athlete or celebrity because frankly, that would never happen.  Our bodies are so unique and different from one another that of course they're not going to be able to look exactly like someone else's. Instead, we were supposed to do an honest evaluation of where we were at (current fitness level, body type, strengths, weaknesses, etc) and set realistic goals from there.  It wasn't about trying to get in shape so that we could become like someone else, the focus was on starting from where we were at and going from there to get our body to the best that it could be, and what that meant or looked like would be unique to each individual.  I began to realize that if that applied to fitness, couldn't it apply to other aspects of our lives as well?

I think when goal setting the focus shouldn't be on become like so and so, it should be on becoming the best person we can be.  Now does that mean that we can't look to others for guidance and implementing things they've done to better ourselves, of course not!  Just like with fitness we find what works for us and what we enjoy, so we find instructors or programs that guide us in that area, we can do the same thing for anything else.  But we have to have the right motivation.  We need to be honest with ourselves and ask why we want to do something.  If it is something positive and builds us up, then we should absolutely go for it.  The key is not to lose sight of who we are because if we go against who we are and try to become something we're not, we will never be happy or content.  

I always have loved the quotes by Dr. Seuss, "you have to be odd to be number one."  and "why fit in when you were born to stand out."  We have to realize that our value doesn't come from being like everyone else, it comes from being true to ourselves and realizing the potential within us.  So when setting goals we need to start with an evaluation of where we are and work from there to becoming the best that we can be.  It doesn't matter that our best is different from others or that our journey isn't the same.  What matters is that we keep trying and moving forward. When I set goals because I am comparing myself to others, those goals are some of the first ones to go, because in my mind I'll never catch up or be as good as the person I was comparing myself to.  Discouragement soon comes and pretty soon I feel like it's even pointless to try and so I fail in that goal. However, I've noticed that when I stay true to myself and set goals that are tailored to me, I am so much more likely to work on them and sustain them.  I feel happier and my self-confidence grows.  Just remember that "there is splendor in being true to yourself." (Margot Datz)

This Christmas Season

The Christmas season is always such a special time of the year.  It's a time for being with family and friends.  A time of giving, loving, and serving.  It's a time where hearts are turned to the Savior, His remarkable birth and life, and how He changed the fate of mankind forever.  And while it is a wonderful time of year, it is easy to lose the meaning and wonder of the season.  The checklists seem to grow longer and longer, the hours stretch on trying to get everything done, and there always seems to be one more gift to buy or one more event to attend.  The demands on our time, energy and spirit can sometimes be overwhelming and instead of feeling uplifted, we can end up feeling drained.  The magic and joy we once felt as a child can dim as we get caught up in all of our responsibilities and the hustle and bustle of the season.  So how do we keep the right focus and actually enjoy the season?

I believe one of the first things is to make sure that we are taking care of ourselves.  I know that it can be hard especially this time of year when we're trying to do so much for so many people.  It's easy to feel a bit guilty for thinking of taking time for ourselves, but as contradictory as it seems, as we take time for ourselves, we actually will be able to give more to others while also maintaining our own well being and happiness.  One analogy I have always loved is that of a lamp.  We can't give light to others if our lamps are empty of oil.  So it is important that we take these small, simple moments to recharge and take care of ourselves.  Stephanie Lahart once said,  "Go above and beyond for yourself! You do it for family, friends, and colleagues, but don’t forget about YOU. It’s important to include yourself… You are worthy of your own kindness, too!"

Another thing that has helped me to keep the right focus of the season is to take moments for reflection and rededication.  With the New Year coming on and this year coming to a close, it's a good time to think about what we have accomplished, what were our wins, triumphs, and blessings of the past year.  We can think about what we would like to do better the next year, and how we can finish the year strong and start the New Year off right.  "There is no better time than now, this very Christmas season, for all of us to rededicate ourselves to the principles taught by Jesus the Christ. It is the time to love the Lord, our God, with all our heart — and our neighbors as ourselves. It is well to remember that he who gives money gives much; he who gives time gives more; but he who gives of himself gives all." (Thomas S. Monson)  


This leads me to my next point - sometimes we overcomplicate things.  This time of year there is so many good things to do.  There is service to do, family to visit, holiday traditions to carry out, parties to attend, shopping to get done, decorations to put up, and on and on and on.  These things are all good and fun to do.  But sometimes we get so concerned about making those perfect memories or a picture-perfect Christmas that we end up missing out on some of the best moments.  Sometimes by slowing down and simplifying things, we are able to enjoy even more time with those we hold dearest and to create more lasting memories.  I love the quote, "Voluntary simplicity means going fewer places in one day rather than more, seeing less so I can see more, doing less so I can do more, acquiring less so I can have more." (John Kabat-Zinn).  As contradictory as it seems, it actually works.
Finally, we need to make sure that we are taking the time to show both love and gratitude.  Starting with Thanksgiving and continuing into the Christmas season, we have the opportunity to reflect upon the many blessings that we have received. There are so many people who have blessed our lives and helped to shape us into the person we are today.  Christmas is such a wonderful time of year to give back and express our appreciation and love to them.  As we show our gratitude and love, our hearts begin to be filled even more with the Spirit of Christ, and more love, joy, and light come into our lives. Most of all it's a time to reflect on God's greatest gift to us of His Son.  

"Because of Jesus the Christ, we need never feel like strangers again. We will rise with the just when he returns! And because of His perfect life and eternal sacrifice, one day we can stand with the angels of heaven and receive with them an eternal gift.

May we, this Christmas season, remember our generous Heavenly Father and give profound and heartfelt thanks to our Almighty God, who has given all of his children wings to fly." Dieter F. Uchtdorf

 I am so grateful for this wonderful time of year to remember our Savior and be with those we love.  I hope that we may all have a wonderful Christmas this year, and as Tiny Tim famously said, "God bless us every one"

When Things Don't Go As Planned

As I've been talking to some friends lately, we've all commented on how life has changed for us, the different paths that we have taken, and the unexpected bumps and turns along the way.  Sometimes it can be so frustrating to think that we have figured out our path only to find that life leads us in an entirely new direction.  At times we can all feel a bit like Alice in Wonderland, not knowing where we are going or who we are anymore; feeling like things just aren't going the way we want them to no matter how hard we try.  So how do we keep moving on? How do we keep persevering when things don't seem to be going our way?  I found a simple answer to these questions from a quote by Robert Frost who said, "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."   

Sometimes life can really tear us down. We can be hurt, betrayed, broken, and feel overwhelmed by despair.  Life can throw at us unexpected heartbreaks and challenges, and even though it may not feel like it at the moment, we have to remember that life goes on.  Bridges that were burned can be rebuilt and hearts can be healed. It may be hard to pick ourselves back up, but that is what we need to do.  We can't give in and we can't give up.  Some days it's all we can do to put one foot in front of the other, but if that's all we can do then we can count that as a victory and keep moving on, trusting and hoping, waiting for the storm to pass.

Not always does the healing or the solutions we want come right away, but peace is available in the midst of our trials.  Elder Bruce D. Porter once noted, "Trials may come, and we may not understand everything that happens to us or around us.  But if we humbly, quietly trust in the Lord, He will give us strength and guidance in every challenge we face. When our only desire is to please Him, we will be blessed with a deep inner peace"  The Savior is the ultimate source of peace and comfort.  He understands our pain and sorrow.  He knows what it is like to have our hopes dashed and our dreams crushed. He is always there and always ready to grant us the peace and the strength to carry on. He can provide an "anchor for our souls" (Ether 12:4).

One of my favorite scriptures is in John 16:33 where Christ says "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."  Challenges, disappointments, and tribulations are a natural part of life and change is one thing that we can count on.  But with Christ's help we can make it through.  While things may seem terrible at the moment, as time passes and life goes on, things will get better and be brighter for us. 

To end, I just want to share one song that has really helped me in my struggles which is Blessings by Laura Story.  It is a really beautiful song and I love the message and the hope that it brings.  The lyrics are:

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears 
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom 
Your voice to hear 
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea 
And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise


God's mercies are real and His love is abundant.  He can turn any situation to our good and He will never abandon us. We just need to let Him in.

A Light in the Storm

One image I have always cherished is that of a lighthouse in a storm.  I love the steady beacon of light that it provides even when the storm is raging around it.  And the interesting thing to think about is that it isn't necessarily shining in spite of the storm - rather it is shining because of the storm.  I feel that we all need a lighthouse in our own lives to get us through our personal storms.  One such lighthouse can be remembering what I like to call "peaks and valleys."

I feel that going through life we all face circumstances that we can label as "peaks and valleys."  We will have our "peak" moments where everything in our life is going great, and things are turning out the way we would like them to.  We have a clear picture of where we have been and of what is around us.  It feels as if nothing is in our way.  However, these peaks don't last forever.  Eventually, after the great highs in our lives, we get knocked off of the mountain tops and back into the valleys. It can be depressing and challenging to be in such a low spot - to not have the clear view that was afforded before; to feel that things are no longer going our way, and circumstances are less than ideal. While in the valley we might not have the resplendent view that we had before, there is still beauty to be found in the valleys and in the challenging times of our lives. 

Life can be challenging and trying and times.  Sometimes it feels as if our circumstances are trying to choke us and drive out any sense of light or hope in our lives.  At times we may feel isolated and all alone - that nobody knows what we are going through or the hidden battles that we are facing.  But hope is never lost.  When we find ourselves in valleys and we are struggling to put one foot in front of the other - let alone stumble back up to the peak, we can remember that we are not alone.  "Our Savior, the Good Shepherd, knows and loves us. He knows and loves you. He knows when you are lost, and He knows where you are. He knows your grief. Your silent pleadings. Your fears. Your tears."  He is there to help us not only climb back to our peaks but to thrive in the valleys as well. 

Another important lighthouse can be learning and accepting that we are enough. It can be so easy (for me at least) to get down on ourselves.  To think about all the things that we could be doing and aren't.  To compare our weaknesses to others strengths - and to feel that we will never measure up. Peace and strength come from seeing ourselves clearly for who we are - both our strengths and weaknesses - and for who we have the potential to become. 

Let's face it we will all make mistakes and fall short of the ideal image of ourselves, but that doesn't mean we should stop trying to improve and be the best that we can be.  However, we need to be careful not to go to the other extreme and impose unrealistic expectations of ourselves.  Jeffrey R. Holland once said:  "With the gift of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the strength of heaven to help us, we can improve, and the great thing about the gospel is we get credit for trying, even if we don’t always succeed." and  "If you stumble in that pursuit, so does everyone; the Savior is there to help you keep going. If you fall, summon His strength. Call out ... He will help you get back up. He will help you repent, repair, fix whatever you have to fix, and keep going. Soon enough you will have the success you seek"

We can rest assured that even when we feel that we are invisible to the rest of the world, Christ sees us.  When negative thoughts try to tear us down and life's circumstances seem to toss us about like a ship on a stormy sea and all our efforts seem like they are for naught, we can remember that the Lord knows and appreciates how hard we are trying even when no one else might.  "You are making progress. Keep going. He sees all your hidden sacrifices and counts them to your good and the good of those you love. Your work is not in vain. You are not alone. His very name, Emmanuel, means 'God with us.' He is surely with you."  Because of that, we can face the future with confidence, faith, and hope.  There are great things in store for us and we keep pressing onward through the storms of life.

I think that is one reason why I love the image of a lighthouse whenever I think about hope.  There's something so reassuring and steady about a lighthouse.  It constantly shines out even during the darkest storms, giving light and guidance for those seeking a way safely home - when the way would otherwise be dark and unclear.  Often we'd like to have clear skies and calm waves, with our path clearly laid before us and an ample supply of answers.  However, right now we aren't meant to have all the answers.  The path isn't always going to be brightly lit before us but we "need not fear the future, nor falter in hope and good cheer, because God is with us." 

Like a ship in the middle of a storm - the way isn't always clear. but as we trust in Christ and have the hope and reassurance that He wants what is best for us - then we can have that beacon of light to guide us safely through the storms of life. The Lord reassures us "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." 

Perfectionism and Perfectly Trying

This past week, my family and I were watching the movie When the Game Stands Tall, and a line in it really caught my attention.  In the movie, Coach Ladouceur notes, “We’re not asking you to be perfect on every play.  What we’re asking of you and what you should be asking of each other is to give a perfect effort from snap to whistle.”  I think that this line stood out so much to me because the idea of perfection or being perfect is so easy to get fixated on.  I know that there have been different activities that I have been hesitant to do because I knew that I would mess up, make mistakes and that I would be far from perfect.  I let my imperfections or my fear of failure keep me from branching out and trying new things, thus limiting my growth and my potential. That is why I loved this quote, it shows that success and failure are not measured based upon a certain outcome (ie doing something perfectly), but rather it's based upon the effort that we exert. 

Once we change our focus from something we can't control (perfection) to something we can control (effort), growth and change will be able to come quicker and easier.  A personal example from my own life was with my singing.  While I loved singing, I had always avoided trying to sing certain types of songs that involved techniques such as belting, singing clearly at extremely high notes, etc because I knew that I wouldn't be able to sing it well.  However, once I realized that I was never going to master those techniques without making mistakes along the way, I was more willing to push myself out of my comfort zone and my singing began to improve and those techniques that seemed so unattainable started to become possible.

I think that we not only struggle with the idea of perfectionism in performance areas but with character as well.  We would all love to be more patient, more charitable, more optimistic, etc.  However, we often fall short of the ideal that we set for ourselves.  It can be so easy to get caught up in all that we are doing wrong, that we forget to focus on what we are doing right.  Just as it is so important to give others the benefit of the doubt, and allow them the opportunity to change and improve, we need to give that same chance to ourselves. 

 In Shakespeare's As You Like It the character Oliver is confronted about his past behavior in contrast with his present.  He responds to the questioning with, "'Twas I, but ’tis not I. I do not shame to tell you what I was, since my conversion so sweetly tastes, being the thing I am."  All of us will have those moments, where we undergo our own transformations and we no longer are what we once were.  Granted, we will always have things that we could do better at, or that we would like to improve upon, but the important thing is that we keep trying and recognize and rejoice in the progress that we have made.  As Jeffrey R. Holland once said "except for Jesus, there have been no flawless performances on this earthly journey we are pursuing, so while in mortality let’s strive for steady improvement without obsessing over what behavioral scientists call 'toxic perfectionism.' We should avoid that latter excessive expectation of ourselves and of others"

While change is never easy, it is worth it.  Even though it feels that we may be moving at a snail's pace, or we can't see any difference, as we continue to perfectly try and put forth an honest effort, the results will come.  Improvements will be made, and lives will be touched.  We are doing better than we think we are.