The Dawning of a New Day

Hi everyone!  I hope you are having a wonderful Easter day!  I love this time time of year when we have the chance to focus on rebirth, growth, change, and hope.  At the heart of each of these things is the Savior, Jesus Christ.  I am so grateful for His Atonement and Resurrection and for the hope and reassurance that it can provide to each and every one of us.  

This week sadly, we saw the tragic fire in Notre Dame occur.  It has always been one of my favorite Cathedrals and has been a symbol of faith for centuries.  Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it reminds me of when of our own beloved buildings caught fire several years ago.  The Provo Tabernacle was rebuilt into the Provo City Center Temple, becoming a place for worthy individuals to make eternal covenants with their Father in Heaven and be sealed as a family for eternity.  Although at the time of the fire we did not know why God had allowed the fire to take place, or what it's future would be, God had a special plan in mind, and was able to turn the disaster into a blessing.  Like the Provo Tabernacle, I am sure that Notre Dame will be rebuilt and will come out even more beautiful than before.   Father McCarthy noted how "something is going to rise from these ashes."  As I was thinking about these things, I couldn't help but draw parallels into my own life.

Last summer, my family and I were evacuated from our homes due to the fires in Utah.  I remember as we were evacuating I could see the flames coming over the mountain and I thought that it was only a matter of time before everything was lost.  Although the prospect of losing everything was a difficult one, there were so many blessings that came from that experience.  There was so much generosity and kindness that was extended by friends, the community, and strangers alike.  It really brought out the best in people and reminded me of what really was important.  My family was safe, and that was the most important thing.  If we did lose everything, I knew that we would rebuild our lives together with love and support from those around us.  But what also helped me to get through the hard time was my faith in Jesus Christ.  In his op-ed article for AZCentral President Nelson said, "if there is anything I've learned in my 94 years of living, it is that a life with God is far better - more filled with hope - than one without Him.  Faith in God is, and has always been, the pre-eminent force for good in this world.  It is the most enduring source of peace for minds and hearts."    Fortunately, due to several miracles and the dedicated work of firefighters, policemen, and so many others our homes were able to be saved.  But I know that even if it had gone the other way, God would have been with us.

I don't know why in some cases miracles seem to occur, and in others prayers seem to go unanswered.  But what I do know is that God is always with us no matter what.  Sometimes He has a different plan in mind for us than one we could ever imagine.  In one of my favorite quotes C.S. Lewis said, 

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself."

And so sometimes we need to pass through trials, hardships, and uncomfortable things, but it doesn't mean that God doesn't love us.  I find that in those times it can be when I feel God's love for me the strongest.  Those times, if we let them, can shape us into a new person, we can become something new, something better, and something stronger.  Hope is never lost, and no matter what happens, we always have a Savior who knows exactly what we are going through to help us, comfort us, and carry us through.

Of course, that relief doesn't always come immediately or in the way that we'd like.  Sometimes we feel alone and abandoned and are desperately grasping for any light we can find in the night of our trials.  However the dawn will come.  Hope is never lost.  A new day is coming and our cares and sorrows will vanish.  We will be able to look back and see our trials and afflictions as a blessing that made us into who we were meant to be.  We each have our own journeys, our own refining fires to pass through. but we can have the assurance that "the Savior makes all things right. No injustice in mortality is permanent, even death, for He restores life again. No injury, disability, betrayal, or abuse goes uncompensated in the end because of His ultimate justice and mercy." Elder D. Todd Christofferson 

I am so grateful for my Savior and I know that because of Him, we can have the hope not only in a glorious life in the world to come, but joy in this one as well.  

To Those Who Feel Unseen

I think that as humans, we all have the need to feel noticed and appreciated.  We want to know that someone sees us, and recognizes the good that we are doing, and that our efforts are not being wasted.

I remember one time in high school, I had been part of a color guard team and we had been preparing for our competitions, and we had the chance to give a practice performance at the high school.  Now I'm not the type of person where those things came naturally.  I had to put in a lot of extra work and practice to get things down, and I was always trying to improve.  With this performance, I had felt that I had gotten the routine down, and I put forth all my effort, and had given it my all.  After the performance, I felt so proud with myself because I felt like that had been my best one of the season thus far.  I felt like I was on cloud nine, but I was quickly deflated.  When we went to meet with our coach, I was hoping that she would have noticed the extra effort that I had put forth and the improvement in my performance.  Instead, all I got was a correction of a minor thing, and then a dismissal while she then heaped praise on her favorite.  I was completely crushed leaving that performance. I remember thinking to myself, "Why am I even trying? Here I am working as hard as I can and it doesn't even make a difference, what's the point?"  Have any of you ever felt that way before?

I think we all have moments were we think, "what's the point?"  Where all our efforts and struggles seem like they're in vain - that nobody even notices or even cares.  So what is the point?  How do we keep pushing on when it feels like there's every reason not to.  How do we fight back when we feel like the whole world is pushing against us, and nobody even sees the struggles that we are facing?

I think the first thing that I realized after that experience was that it is not about what others thought about me.  Sure we all love to feel recognized and appreciated, but when I reflected on why I performed and why I danced, I came to the understanding that it really was not about her or her approval.  When I became focused on that, the only thing I would feel was disappointment and discouragement.  But when I took the focus away from seeking approval, I became so much happier, and I actually found so much more freedom in my movement and in my artistic expression.  For me dancing meant being able to dream and step into a world of endless possibilities.  It raised my spirits and gave me a freedom to become whoever I wanted to be.  I loved the challenge of mastering new techniques and the elation of being able to reach a goal.  When I don't focus on the people watching me, dancing becomes an expression of my soul and brings me an immense amount of joy.

Alyssa Edwards said something once that completely captured how I feel.  She said, "A good dancer is not necessarily defined by great technique, skill, or ability to pick up choreography but by confidence.  When you feel the music, it penetrates to your soul. Everybody's a dancer. The greatest dancer is someone who is willing to dance, not afraid."  I realized that I had been letting fear get in my way.  Fear of not being good enough, fear of failing, and of letting everyone else down. I am in no way the most natural nor talented dancer. I have to work hard to learn, progress, and learn a routine.  And because I was comparing myself to others, I had started to lose that confidence in myself and had stopped letting the music penetrate my soul.  But when I began to let go of those things - the fear, the comparisons, the hurt - then I truly began to find that joy that had brought me there in the first place.

I also came to realize that those fears that I had when performing, were also common fears in my life.  It is so easy to let what others do or do not do, govern how we see and view ourselves.  All of us want to have our moment in the spotlight, and we fear being forgotten, being unseen.  We each have a unique and wonderful melody that each of us bring to the chorus of life.  Sometimes our melody is joyful and energetic, other times it is sad and lethargic.  Our melodies rise and fall and shift with the changing tides of our lives, yet sometimes we can wonder, is anyone listening at all?  There have been so many times in my life where I have felt like I have been going through the day acting out a part. Pretending that everything is fine when it really isn't, hoping against hope that someone would notice that something was off - yet no one did.  I have had times where I have felt like my service and efforts have gone unnoticed.  That others received all the spotlight, all the attention, while I was always relegated to the behind the scenes roles.  And sometimes that would be so hard for me.  I wondered if my service was as valuable, or if I was even making a difference.  But then I read a talk from President Howard W. Hunter, entitled "No Less Serviceable" (BYU Devotional, 1990) that completely changed my perspective, and helped me to realize that even if my efforts, struggles, and triumphs are not noticed by anyone else here on earth, they are always noticed up above.

President Hunter first pointed out that all of us are going to be unique.  We all are not cast in the same mold and we each have a different personality, circumstance, and mission.  He noted that we all are not going to be "catching the acclaim of [our] colleagues all day every day. No, most will be quiet, relatively unknown folks who come and go and do their work without fanfare. To those of you who may find that lonely or frightening or just unspectacular, I say you are 'no less serviceable' than the most spectacular of your associates. You, too, are part of God’s army."

To me that gave me such reassurance.  To know that there is great worth and meaning to be found even when we feel that our service and efforts are being expended in anonymity.  President Hunter gave many examples of people who he termed  were "unsung heroes".  These people do not receive a lot of public praise or attention, yet we cannot live without their selfless service.  Their quiet contributions have long lasting effects, that can shape history.  He assures that our unseen or unsung labors always "brings the attention of God".  And so like my example with dance earlier, our service and efforts are not about others and their approval.  It is about serving and loving our God and our fellow man, and being the best that we can possibly be.  Sister Sharon Eubank reassured that "the Lord knows how hard you are trying.  You are making progress.  Keep going.  He sees all your hidden sacrifices and counts them to your good and the good of those you love.  Your work is not in vain.  Your are not alone.  His very name, Emmanuel, means 'God with us'. He is surely with you."

I know that He can see the "sorrows that the eye can't see" (Lord, I would Follow Thee. Hymn #220) and He hears "the songs we cannot sing." (There is Sunshine in My Soul Today. Hymn #227)  He appreciates every effort we make to improve ourselves and to serve those around us.  He knows the good that we are doing and will be with us in every step of our journey.