Starlight and Storms

 

Her eyes were full of starlight

Full of light and warmth and hope

Nothing was impossible

And dreams were always close

Yet she had a secret

 That she always sought to hide

For though her eyes shone with starlight

She was battling darkness inside

Storms raged and waves crashed

Trying to swallow her whole

But she kept on wishing

Holding to that hope

For even on the darkest night

Or in the stormiest sea

It cannot stop the light from shining

And reaching those who seek.

So she kept on going

Knowing that one day

Her light may illuminate the path

For others who pass that way.

- Johana Linford

The Wounds We Cannot Heal

I think, so far, 2020 has turned out very different than any of us could have imagined!  So many have been hurt and affected in one way or another.  My heart goes out to those who suffer from any type of prejudice, discrimination, and hate.  Although we have come a long way as a society, it is clear that we still have a long way to go.  This past April Elder Jeffrey R. Holland stated, 

"When we have conquered [COVID-19]—and we will—may we be equally committed to freeing the world from the virus of hunger, freeing neighborhoods and nations from the virus of poverty. May we hope for schools where students are taught—not terrified they will be shot—and for the gift of personal dignity for every child of God, unmarred by any form of racial, ethnic, or religious prejudice. Undergirding all of this is our relentless hope for greater devotion to the two greatest of all commandments: to love God by keeping His counsel and to love our neighbors by showing kindness and compassion, patience and forgiveness. These two divine directives are still—and forever will be—the only real hope we have for giving our children a better world than the one they now know."

We hope for a better world, but all too often we question:  what can I do?  What difference can I make?  Where do I even start?  Along with these questions, we can also be accompanied by the fear of speaking out, of losing friends, of receiving hateful remarks and comments, etc.  However, "Somebody has to stand when other people are sitting.  Somebody has to speak when other people are quiet." (Bryan Stevenson)  Although standing for what is right is never easy, it is always worth it.  It may feel like we are standing alone, but we never know how our actions will affect others and even give them the courage to rise and stand with us.  

There are so many good resources out there that can help us know how we can recognize signs of discrimination or prejudice in ourselves and how we can support others and start making a change in our own homes and communities.  Learning the histories, stories, and backgrounds of different cultures, races, ethnicities, etc. are so enlightening and humbling.  There is so much to learn and so many beautiful elements to admire. It can also help us to wake up and realize that the world isn't always the rosy picture we make it out to be, and it can help us to understand the struggles that others have (and still are) going through.  

A beginning step I think that is vital in this process is to learn how to look for the common ground.  Although some people may initially appear to be very different from us, the more we get to know them, the more we will realize that there is more that unites us than divides us.  An op-ed piece between the NAACP and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints states:

"Unitedly we declare that the answers to racism, prejudice, discrimination and hate will not come from government or law enforcement alone. Solutions will come as we open our hearts to those whose lives are different than our own, as we work to build bonds of genuine friendship, and as we see each other as the brothers and sisters we are — for we are all children of a loving God."

 I know that throughout this time there are many who are hurting and are deeply wounded.  While I may not fully know or understand what it is that you are going through, I know that there is somebody who does.  I know that the Savior knows you personally and knows exactly what you feel.  He offers healing, peace, and the ability to offer forgiveness and love to those who have wronged us.  We can remember that "the Savior loves to restore what you cannot restore; He loves to heal wounds you cannot heal; He loves to fix what has been irreparably broken; He compensates for any unfairness inflicted on you; and He loves to permanently mend even shattered hearts." (Elder Dale G. Renlund)  Christ truly is the light and hope that we can cling to as we work towards a better world.  

The Beauty of Being Still

Hi everyone!  I know that life has been turned upside down and has been crazy for everyone since the outbreak of COVID-19.  My heart goes out to those who have lost loved ones and those who are going through unexpected trials at this time. With our present in turmoil and our future uncertain, it can be easy to get overwhelmed by feelings of fear, despair, or hopelessness.  One thing that has helped me during this time - and throughout other hard times in my life - has been the idea of looking for "compensatory blessings."  By doing so, I am able to shift my focus from a more negative outlook (by focusing on what is going wrong in my life) to a more positive one where I am able to see unexpected blessings or opportunities, as well as everything I have in my life that I can be grateful for.  By looking for compensatory blessings, I am also able to realize those things which I have taken for granted, and really appreciate the simple but beautiful things in life.

One unexpected blessing during this time is the enhanced opportunity to be still.  I often feel that life can be so overwhelming and so busy that we often forget to take time to slow down.  With our never-ending checklists and our myriad of commitments, there is often the pressure to just keep going.  I know I've even felt guilty for taking time to be still because of the notion that if we're not doing something, then we're being unproductive and we are wasting time.   However, sometimes all we need is just an opportunity to unwind, unplug and slow down - which actually is better for us in the long run anyway.  One Harvard Health article found that being still (or practicing mindfulness) "has been found to be a key element in stress reduction and overall happiness" and improves well-being, as well as mental and physical health.  While there are a plethora of ways to practice mindfulness - and so many benefits that come from doing so - one of the things that have blessed me the most is an increased connection with heaven.

In times like these, it's so helpful for me to take time to "be still and know that [He is] God." (Psalms 46:10) To remember that He is in charge and that even in the midst of turbulent times, He can offer us peace, comfort, and direction.  With Easter Sunday fast approaching, it is a time to celebrate the ultimate victory and to remember that with His grace, we can achieve victory in our own battles.   Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin put it beautifully when he said:

"Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays.
But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come.
No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come."

As that Sunday comes we can find the hope and healing that we so desperately crave, and we can rest assured that we are never forgotten or abandoned.  We can know that "[Christ's] Atonement makes available all of the power, peace, light, and strength that we need to deal with life's challenges" (Sheri Dew) While things may still seem crazy in our world today, there is still so much to look forward too, and so much good to find.  There is happiness and hope ahead, as well as a myriad of blessings to be found - if we only look for it.

The Courage To Be You

So tell me if this sounds familiar to anyone else:  January is over and the majority (if not all) of your New Years Resolutions are broken or abandoned.  Why is that?  Is it because these resolutions have come to be seen as a joke or just a ritual to do at the New Year, but have little meaning or effect afterwards? Is it because we're well-meaning and we're feeling ambitious and so we set goals that are unrealistic and non-sustainable?  While I think it could be any of those things, I also wonder if there's a deeper reason why our heart just isn't in it.  Could it be that while many of our goals are good or even noteworthy, we're not doing it for us? Rather we're doing it because of someone else?  

Now don't get me wrong, I am all for learning from others and being inspired by their strengths and talents. I admire those who want to improve themselves so that they can have better relationships with others and be better equipped to make a difference in the world around them.  What  I am referring to ties back to my very first article - and that is comparison.  

In today's world, it is so easy for us to compare.  We are bombarded by so many pictures and posts from social media, entertainment, etc. that it can often be a bit discouraging as we realize that we might not measure up to the images and messages that we are exposed to.  It can be so easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others - and as is often the case, we compare what we perceive are the worst things about us, with the best things of others.  The more we do this, the easier it is to become more and more dissatisfied with ourselves.  We hone in on all of our problems and shortcomings, and eventually, we begin to feel inadequate and that who we are isn't enough.  While I think it is great when we can self-reflect and honestly evaluate ourselves - our weaknesses and our strengths - the problem comes when we no longer feel that we can be ourselves. When we feel that we need to transform into an entirely new person, and we need to act or look just like someone else.  

I first became more conscious of this problem when I was in a fitness class.  At the beginning of the semester, the instructor had us write down our goals for the semester and what we wanted to get out of the class.  However, she cautioned for us not to put down that we wanted to look just like a certain athlete or celebrity because frankly, that would never happen.  Our bodies are so unique and different from one another that of course they're not going to be able to look exactly like someone else's. Instead, we were supposed to do an honest evaluation of where we were at (current fitness level, body type, strengths, weaknesses, etc) and set realistic goals from there.  It wasn't about trying to get in shape so that we could become like someone else, the focus was on starting from where we were at and going from there to get our body to the best that it could be, and what that meant or looked like would be unique to each individual.  I began to realize that if that applied to fitness, couldn't it apply to other aspects of our lives as well?

I think when goal setting the focus shouldn't be on become like so and so, it should be on becoming the best person we can be.  Now does that mean that we can't look to others for guidance and implementing things they've done to better ourselves, of course not!  Just like with fitness we find what works for us and what we enjoy, so we find instructors or programs that guide us in that area, we can do the same thing for anything else.  But we have to have the right motivation.  We need to be honest with ourselves and ask why we want to do something.  If it is something positive and builds us up, then we should absolutely go for it.  The key is not to lose sight of who we are because if we go against who we are and try to become something we're not, we will never be happy or content.  

I always have loved the quotes by Dr. Seuss, "you have to be odd to be number one."  and "why fit in when you were born to stand out."  We have to realize that our value doesn't come from being like everyone else, it comes from being true to ourselves and realizing the potential within us.  So when setting goals we need to start with an evaluation of where we are and work from there to becoming the best that we can be.  It doesn't matter that our best is different from others or that our journey isn't the same.  What matters is that we keep trying and moving forward. When I set goals because I am comparing myself to others, those goals are some of the first ones to go, because in my mind I'll never catch up or be as good as the person I was comparing myself to.  Discouragement soon comes and pretty soon I feel like it's even pointless to try and so I fail in that goal. However, I've noticed that when I stay true to myself and set goals that are tailored to me, I am so much more likely to work on them and sustain them.  I feel happier and my self-confidence grows.  Just remember that "there is splendor in being true to yourself." (Margot Datz)